Daniell Koepke (via monkeyknifefight)
Reblog for the needed insight. I tend to forget this in epic moments of weakness and shame. Need a little positive insight sometimes.
So here I am again, Tumblr. My not so triumphant return to blogging.
The past year…hell, two years, I’ve gotten damn lost. I’ve forgotten how to be grateful and lively and inspired and inspirational, among many other things. I attribute this to two things: becoming a for real alcoholic and leaving Tumblr (really, the internet as a whole).
There was a time when, if I was down, Tumblr would cheer me up. All these wonder-fucking-ful people and stories and sources of any damn kind of inspiration you could need. Admittedly, I never really gave as much as I got. Original content? Psh, hardly a whisper of it on my blog. But I always felt as though I was “paying it forward” in real life. I channeled all the creativity Tumblr stirred up in me into tangible (and kickass) original artwork. All the love and sense of community I felt here, I shared with the world around me.
One day, all that went away. I had more real life friends than I knew what to do with, I didn’t NEED the internet anymore! And damned if it didn’t all go downhill from there!
Okay, so maybe it’s a little ridiculous to blame my downward spiral on a lack of selfies, pictures of what everyone ate for lunch and stories from my peers. The truth is, I just let myself go. I let everything around me just kind of fall away. Everything became meaningless and my general attitude was, “what’s the point?” And then I started browsing that big blue wonderland that is Tumblr (along with some lifestyle changes for sure). Started seeing so many possibilities and people just “getting out there”. It made me question what the hell I was doing and just why the hell I wasn’t doing what I’m AWESOME at: creating.
In conclusion, you guys are all amazing and sharing in your triumphs and defeats and general badassery makes me a way better person. Thank you.
We rode the ferry to Puget Sound? And we were still in love. We thought we’d be married. We believed in ourselves and each other.
How different we’ve become. How empty every dream. How bleak the promise of each new prospect in the shadow of our prime.
Wondering when, or if ever, we’ll feel so spectacular a thing again.
Monies come to me.
When I first left Danny, it was really hard to be alone. I just couldn’t do it. I had to have everyone around me always.
Time heals all wounds…being alone is enjoyable again.
Ryan Gosling, actor and feminist, in a letter protesting the NC-17 rating of Blue Valentine. The rating was based on one consensual sex scene. (via snowstorminjuly)
Jeanette Winterson (via fuckault)
.the idea of owning a cat
.eating in bed
When did I make a second tumblr and become super gorgeous and fascinating? I don’t even remember typing this list!
I kind of figured that once I made my decision to leave, people would ask me about it. Maybe they’d check on me to see how it was affecting me and if I needed to talk. Turns out that most people would rather just avoid you. I suppose it’s a good thing that I don’t much feel like talking about it anyway.
It’s a funny thing to watch happen, though. Everything and everyone in your life comes into perspective and you realize (or maybe you’ve known all along) who you really need and want in your life.
Being alone isn’t what I thought it would be.